Archive for the 80s Category

Sexy Witch Jaycee Pins, 1981

Posted in 80s, Pins on 24 November 2010 by redwitch1

These three fundraiser pins were issued by the Massachusetts Jaycees, aka JCs (i.e., members of The United States Junior Chamber). What we get on each pin is a sexy witch on a broom facing left with either black, blonde or red hair: you get to pick your favourite!

The pins (or badges in our part of the world) date from 1981: a bit of a black hole on this site, and a bit of a black hole culturally speaking (I know, I was there!).

On these three are catalogued as MA8106, MA8107, MA8108.

I am only missing MA8109, a witch with red hair facing right instead of left (but in other respects, identical)—the only other sexy witch pin on this database.

Marina Baker in LUI, 1986

Posted in 80s, Magazine, NSFW, Photograph on 7 August 2009 by redwitch1

As you can see, LUI no. 2 (February 1986) contains “Die Grössten Busen Wunder Von London” [literally, “The largest wonder-bosoms of London”]. Not surprisingly, Marina Baker (aka Marina Pepper) features along side Samantha Fox and Tracy Neve among “Die Busenwunder von London” [perhaps Busenwunder should be translated as, “The Miraculous Mammaries of London”?].

Anyway, the insert explains:

Ein Brustbild der Fleet Street. Zwischen der beiden grössten Boulevardzeitungen von London, der grössten Zeitungsstadt der Welt, tobt seit 1969 ein erbitterter Brust-on-Brust-Kampf, mit der SUN als Siegerin. Ihr alter Rivale, der MIRROR, verkaufte damals, als die SUN mit 800000 Exemplaren startete, fünf Millionen. 1970 erfand die SUN “dar Mädchen von der Seite drei” und verdoppelte auf 1.6 Mio; 1978 zog die SUN das Mädchen oben aus, und die Auflage sprang auf 3.8 Millionen. Heute hat die SUN die Brust ganz vorn: Sie ist bie 4.1 Mio, der MIRROR bei 2.9.

[A breast-picture of Fleet Street. Between the two largest popular presses of London, the largest newspaper city of the world, an embittered breast-on-breast fight rages, with the SUN as winner since 1969. When the SUN started with 800000 copies, its old rival, the MIRROR, sold five million. In 1970 the SUN invented the “page three girl” and doubled to 1.6 million; in 1978 the SUN girls above took off, and the edition jumped to 3.8 million. Today the SUN has its chest completely in front: it has 4.1 million, the MIRROR has 2.9.]

The insert is the most enormous centerfold (97 x 52.5cm; 38 x 21 inches), which means it has ten outside panels, the one above, plus eight featuring the “Busenwunder” models. Below is the Marina Baker panel (and details).

Marina. Bei ihrem Busen kommen selbst die adgebrühten SUN-Bildredakteure jedesmal wieder ins Schwämen: Marina Bakers Oberweite misst stolze 97 Zentimeter, was fast formatsprengend ist, denn SUN ist nur halb so gross wie BILD. Marina ist 18 Jahre alt, und in London nennt man sie nur die Herzogin von Windson, weil sie nicht daran, in den alten englischen Adel einzuheiraten. Sie wünscht sich eine Partnerschaft mit einen Künstler, am lieben einen Dichter, der ebenso sensible wie sinnlich ist. Sinnlich ist wichtig— “denn der wichtigste Platz der Welt ist für mich das bett.” In der Zeit, die sie nicht darin verbringt, nimmt sie ernsthaften Schauspielunterricht und reitet danach zur Entspannung auf — noch gemieteten — Pferden. Was sie am meisten hasst, ist Diät, “weil das die Leute nicht dünn, sondern nur schlecht gelaunt macht.”

Marina. With her bosom even the hardened SUN picture-editors return to enthusing: Marina Baker’s bust measures a proud 97 centimeters, which is almost format-bursting, because the SUN is only half as large as this PICTURE. Marina is 18 years old, and in London one calls her The Duchess of Windsor only, because she’s bound to marry into the English aristocracy. She wishes for a partnership with an artist, or a dear poet, who is just as sensuous as sensitive. Sensuality is important to me “because the most important place in the world is bed.” In the time, which she does not spend therein, she takes serious instruction and rides thereafter for relaxation her—still rented—horses. What she hates the most is dieting, “because it does not make people thin, but only in a bad mood.”

The newspaper at the foot of the page (enlarged above) appears to be the 18 July 1985 issue of The Sun, opened to the second of Baker’s three “Page 3” appearances in that paper. (Baker’s first and last appearance are listed on the “Page 3” website as being 26 February 1985—when Marina Baker was just 17 years and 2 months—and 3 October 1986.)

A few more photos from this same LUI photo shoot appeared in FOX: Contemporary Erotic Adventures (March 1986). I have these image courtesy of the Marina Baker Yahoo group (here), so can’t offer any information about them.

BTW: the “Page 3” website also informs us that Baker’s measurements are (or were): 34EE-23-35. Baker stated in 2003: “If you are a certain height, with a certain look, and a certain pneumatic silhouette” then “sooner or later … it’s a bit inevitable really” that you’ll end up modeling. But Baker was being far too modest. Only a few weeks ago she said, more accurately this time, that “less than a handful of women in the UK who have ever been Playboy centrefolds.” And not all of these have the sort of dedicated following that Baker commands today.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt if Fleet Street loves you. And why wouldn’t they? Since her modelling days, Baker has worked for almost every paper in Fleet Street, she is politician and environmental activist, she is also exotic (by their standards)—a bisexual witch and children’s-book author no less—who still looks fabulous, and who once shacked up with, and shagged the legs off, the hottest James Bond ever: Daniel Craig. (Meaning, we now get headlines such as Daniel Craig’s ex-girlfriend is one of the masterminds behind the G20 protests rather than Playmate, witch and now eco warrior trying to shut down Heathrow. Note that neither headline names Baker.)

For more articles on Baker and the G20 rallies, etc., see G20 protest organiser is former girlfriend of 007 Daniel Craig; Bank demo leader is page 3 beauty; Casting a spell on politics.

An Ash-Blonde Witch, 1987

Posted in 80s, Book on 13 March 2009 by redwitch1
[Front Cover]

Earlier this week I read Kenneth Lillington’s An Ash-Blonde Witch (London: Faber & Faber, 1987), and it was great. I bought it on spec.—basically for the fabulous cover-art by Louise Brierley—because I could find out nothing about the author and only two short reviews of the book online (here and here). It is categorised in a few places as suitable for “junior and senior high readers,” which was only likely to encourage a fan of the Harry Potter and Sweep series, to say nothing of Twilight, Vampire Academy etc.


Sophie Margaret Oakroyd and her father arrive in the village of Urstwile. At first, the story seems to be set in the distant past because the characters talk as if they have walked straight out of a fairy-tale. It gradually becomes clear, however, that we are actually in a twenty-second century and that Urstwile is an ethnographic reserve: a sort-of academic Truman Show (1998) or Village (2004), except, in this case, none of the villagers are in on the secret. This primitive community has been watched at a distance by academics for decades, but Sophie’s father has been given the (very great) privilege of observing village life first-hand. So, Sophie and her father are beamed into a remote cottage and the scene is set for a short (its only 138 pages) and genuinely charming tale of “love and self-discovery.”

The village has a witch, Dorcas, a real nose-touching-chin hag: she cackles, curses, wears rags, can make trees dance and can fly on a broom. The village also has a prude, Prudence (of course), who is scandalised by the fact that the witch has not been burnt at the stake in the village square. Everyone is too scared to act except her, so she tries to stop Dorcas in her tracks by hammering a nail into her footprint. Prudence immediately becomes stuck fast to the hammer and no one can free her until Sophie happens by, and tries to help by commanding her to let go of the hammer.

As soon as Prudence is freed, everyone in the town assumes Sophie is a witch, more powerful than Dorcas. Since Sophie can’t really explain that she has simply used auto-suggestion she says nothing at all. Soon afterward she uses an aspirin and then hypnotism to help others and so her reputation, and her danger, grows.

[Back Cover]

Because Sophie is gorgeous, all the local boys are in love with her, and all the women hate her. Dorcas, the real witch, is also pretty unhappy, but uncertain whether to act against a possibly more-powerful foe. It is not long before a lynch-mob are stirred up and Sophie has to use her (perfectly commonplace, it seems) mind-over-matter powers to hop on a broom and join Dorcas by fleeing to safely.

It turns out that Dorcas’s hag-witch routine is just a show used to make a living and that her “hovel” is actually a delightful cottage inside, full of comforts: beautiful clothes, great food and treasures given to her by grateful members of the aristocracy. She is also plenty smart and soon warms to Sophie, whose technological magic she admires, and whose talk of science, cause-and-effect, auto-suggestion, etc. she is intrigued by.

Sophie discovers that Dorcas is an intelligent, sexually liberated and independent woman who had been ostracised by the villagers, and embraced the life as a witch for the freedom is brought her. Apparently, she is not even that old, she just has bad teeth! Sophie also realises that a bit of twenty-second century dental and cosmetic care and Dorcas would be very far from a hag. And so, after she has left Urstwile, and is given the opportunity to help Dorcas escape, she does so: Dorcas has her make-over and the whole sexy-witch/hag dichotomy is in pieces.

Now, I have left out entirely two things: the love triangle involving Sophie, Prudence and Simon; and the real supernatural elements: a whole range of minor demons. The first is used to satirise the emotionally empty “modern life” of uniformly beautiful, but undifferentiated and uninteresting men and women who casually engage in sex and send their children off to be raised elsewhere; and the second to satirise the blindness and intellectual complacency of the “scientific world” which is unable to see the real magic and the supernatural forces that stare them in the face. Most of the fun is in these two aspects of the story, which is why I have left them out, so do not hesitate to find yourself a copy of this book and read it. You will enjoy it.

Oh, and when you have read it, come back to this post, read the following and tell me what you think of it:

Witches such as … the two very different witches depicted in An Ash-blonde Witch, are positioned on the outside of both patriarchal institutional religion and patriarchal secular society, and they either practice or or move toward new versions of spirituality. What such a witch stands for is a neo-humanistic protest against postmodernism’s denial of ethical values and a resistance to late twentieth-century human indifference.

[From John Stephens, “Witch-Figures in Recent Children’s Fiction: The Subaltern and the Subversive” in The Presence of the Past in Children’s Literature, edited by Ann Lawson Lucas (Westport, CT: Praeger, 2003), 195–202.]

The 1980s

Posted in 80s, index on 22 August 2008 by redwitch1

The following link is to my only post on sexy witches of the eighties.

  • Pumpkin Pie, 1985
  • An Ash-Blonde Witch, 1987
  • But, also, see my Marina Baker Pages (1987).

  • Marina Baker
  • Marina Baker Again
  • Marina Baker in LUI, 1986
  • Marina Baker in Casanova, 1987
  • Pumpkin Pie, 1985

    Posted in 80s, Painting, PSFW on 19 July 2007 by redwitch1

    The following delightful pinup by Dave Stevens is titled ‘Pumpkin Pie’. It was published in Vamps & Vixens: The Seductive Art of Dave Stevens in 1998, but is dated 1985. It is amazing how little it matters that this pinup witch is wearing the most ridiculous and improbable costume I have ever seen. Or rather, fragments of a costume.

    NB: check out the head, with rolling eyes and lolling tongue, hidden among the carved pumpkins. Strange, yes?

    Marina Baker in Casanova, 1987

    Posted in 80s, NSFW, Photograph, Real Witch on 11 December 2006 by redwitch1

    Marina Baker plays Lucretia in Simon Langton’s Casanova (1987). The script for this television movie, featuring Richard Chamberlain and Faye Dunaway, was written by George MacDonald Fraser, author of the Flashman novels. Yvonne Blake, the costume designer, was nominated for Emmy for her work on this production.

    IMDB describes the film as “A very long, beginning-to-end life story of an eighteenth century womanizer.” An unrated 122 minute cut of the film was released on VHS for the US market. The European version of the film is 168 minutes (it was released in two parts) and is rated FSK 16 (16yrs +). The European version contains extra nude footage but it is not clear whether Bakers’ bedroom scene with Richard Chamberlain is included or not.

    Playboy included two stills of this scene in its April 1987 issue.

    Marina Baker again

    Posted in 80s, NSFW, Photograph, Real Witch on 10 September 2006 by redwitch1

    The five photos below are from Baker’s appearance in the March 1987 issue of Playboy [see below for links to the full article]. In a previous post I reproduced other pictures clearly taken during the same series of photo shoots but, apparently, first printed in other Playboy publications.

    For more information on Baker and her many Playboy appearances see Wikipedia. For a vast archive of Baker photos and a few short video clips of Baker (including her interview by Clive James at Playboy Mansion) see The Marina Baker Playhouse (a Yahoo! group).

    [UPDATE 18 Jul 07: the above images are now linked to 1000 pixel wide (or high) scans, the larger files, posted on 19 Sep 06, having been removed by Imageshack]


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